Thursday, April 18, 2013

GE-13! Vote for Banana


These days, politics is the hottest conversation everywhere. You pick up the phone to talk to a friend, or a relative, and suddenly you are discussing politics!

I was not very much into politics until very recently when I felt my money had been ending up in some rich individuals' expensive handbags.

We all have heard the "cincin" and handbags story, which has now been confirmed by the lady herself.

That she did not purchase it is secondary. The fact is she and her family did have a taste and a liking for such obscene luxury, so much so the ring had actually been shipped here.

Would - or could - any of us do that? At a time when people are finding it hard to make ends meet, she was eyeing the ring!

Now, they are giving you back the RM200 or the RM500. But wait! I know that some children in private schools with annual fees of RM30,000 have also been given the cash!

The coming general election will be the first time I will cast my ballot. When I registered as a voter, I did not do it to exercise my right.
I did it simply to exorcise the ghost of BN and their supporters which have been running amok since 2008.

I have more friends who are ready to vote for 'bananas' or any other fruit placed to contest against BN.

But there are days when questions boggle my mind while chatting with friends who still support BN. I have always wanted to know what is it they don't know yet. I concluded that they are in the dark.

They either do not read or only readUtusan Malaysia and watch TV3.
So I tried to tell them of the recent survey finding that more Malaysians are getting news from sources other thanRTMTV3 or any of the other local TV channels.

People now depend on independent news on the internet such as Malaysiakini orThe Malaysian Insider.

I tried to tell them - you don't have to stop watching TV3 news. You don't have to read Harakah because it is a party organ and it could have its own biases.
There are many other news sites on the net which are not operated by political parties.

Many of these friends of mine who have no clue of BN's excesses actually have much fear of losing whatever material things they now have.

Most are Malays, and a good number are Indian Muslims whose parents would have taken great pains to repeatedly visit the NRD just to have their children registered as Malays. As such, they feel some 'protection' under BN.

So, I thought to myself, are they even thinking like a Muslim should? Some of whom I know are very pious.
I am beginning to think they definitely are praying with a happy heart, feeling secure, but will they pray when all these benefits are taken away?

Will they pray when they wake up one day to find the new government declaring equal rights for all just as Islam has taught us? Do they even understand the meaning of the Just God?

What can they lose? Seven percent bumi benefits when buying a house? Are you okay to be given preference to enter universities when others are not?

And you are okay when many poor non-Malays are oppressed due to these policies? Some have lived in this country longer than you - do you think they should go back to their parents' or grandparents' or great-grandparents' homeland? And to where? India? China?

They don't even know how to speak good Tamil or Mandarin any more.

After 50-plus years, with all the benefits, where are you all now? Well protected, but where are you now?

You are still the same officer who comes back home with not enough money, who cannot afford your children to buy a small house. What happened to your benefits?

You go to any place and you can't see a phone shop if there is no 'China man' around. These Chinese - denied many benefits accorded to you - have struggled since birth.
Their effort is more blessed by God, as they earn money with hard work while we still wait for government handouts.

We are nowhere. So what benefits would you lose, my dear BN-supporter friends?

Many of these friends feel that some non-Malays are also racist. I can agree with that, yes, completely. My question is, aren't you racist, too?

You get more privileges than the non-Malays only because your birth certificate says you are a bumi. Let's face it, everybody is racist in Malaysia.

People tell me Chinese companies only employ 'their people' for top position. I agree. But not long ago before you applied for this job, wasn't your race preferred for university enrolment?

Similarly, some Chinese complain that Malays are racist even in their preference of where to buy their daily goods. I agree, but I have also seen Chinese salesmen snubbing non-Chinese customers.

So why is everybody racist? It is all from up there, our political and government's concept that "one race is more privileged than the other". So the poor non-Malays who only know Malaysia as their land strive on, and in the process some begin hating Malays.

And when they openly show this hatred, some Malays react by calling them racists, too, and then argue that "we must protect our nation". What nation, whose nation?

Do the Malays know they represent Islam in Malaysia? Do they realise that some ignorant non-Muslims hate Muslims because of this institutional racism? Can we blame them?

Yes, they are ignorant but so are you! You talk about Islam and defending Islam, yet in your heart you have noiman (faith). All you think about is "my benefits".

Take a look at Australia. Whatever your view about that country, its system accords equal benefits to all, including Muslims who have only become citizens for several weeks.

That is why they still feel a belonging to Australia despite some limitations in their religious practice such as the prohibition of azan in public.

When we Muslims are just, the non-Muslim communities will similarly accept the reality of Malaysia's Muslim history and identity and accept some limitations, just as Muslims in Australia have.

Islam is just. Everybody has equal rights. If you still feel that you need your children to be protected by man's rule (BN) and not by God, then you are just like what the Qur'an describes: "Deaf, dumb and blind; and they are not to return (to the right path)" [Baqarah 2:18].

As for me, I will vote for the banana that I don't know about. Give Pakatan Rakyat a chance. I, too, have so many doubts about Pakatan.
Yet, I am convinced it can't be worse than our present state. If it does, then I can pass my verdict in another five years.

Giving BN another five years will spell the end of the opposition, and ultimately competition. In any country, such a competition is healthy. What makes you think Malaysia is any different?

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Am I With The Right Partner?

A friend once asked, "How do I know if I am with the right person?"

Well.. every relationship has a cycle; in the beginning, you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didnt have to do anything, thats why its called 'falling' in love. 

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept off my feet". Picture the expression, it implies that you were standing there, doing nothing and then something happened to you! Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience but after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. Its a natural cycle of every relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drives you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship. You will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?". As you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown. The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person. Its learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does not lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I am not saying that you couldnt fall in love with someone else. You could and temporarily you will feel better. But you will be in the same situation a few years later.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person, its learning to love the person you found. Sustaining love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort and energy. And most importantly, it demands wisdom. You have to know what to do to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is not a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), just as there are physical laws of the universe (gravity), there is also laws for relationship. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable. God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay and who you refuse to let go.


Thursday, December 27, 2012

10 Entrepreneurship Values


GET OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE!
First Rule: “The sky is the limit”. I’ve always learnt how to stretch my potentials & abilities to a higher level. Challenge within yourself. Know that the world will be against you when you think of a life-changing idea. People simply don’t like change. Understand that, and push through the doubters and rise above the noise.
DREAM BIG DREAMS
Constantly dream big during second of your life! Allow yourself to imagine & fantasize about the kind of life you would like to live & the kind of money you would like to earn & have in your bank account. Remember the song “You have to dream if you want the dream to come true”.
DON’T GIVE UP
When you are on the brink of quitting because everything seems to be falling apart, pull yourself together and keep on fighting hard. 99% of success is purely base on PRESEVERANCE, PASSION & DETERMINATION in life you have today!
DEVELOP A CLEAR SENSES OF DIRECTION
Take your dreams out of the air & crystallize them into clear & specific written goals. Greatest discovery in human history today is that, “You become what you think most of the time”. Two factors that determine what happens to you in life, more than anything else, are what you think about & how you think about it.
SEE YOURSELF AS SELF-EMPLOYED
Accept complete, 100% responsibility for everything you are & everything you will ever be. Never make excuses or to blame other people for your problems & shortcomings. You are totally responsible for your life. If there is something in your life that you don’t like, it is up to you to do something about it. But you are in charge!
DO WHAT YOU LOVE TO DO
Most self-made millionaires say that they “never worked work a day in their life”. Find out what you really love most about your job, what you have a natural talent for & to throw your heart into doing that very very well.
KEEP REPEATING TILL YOU PERFECT YOUR WORK
Success is not success unless it is repeatable. Keep practicing your work, focusing into small actions leading your big goals, keep meeting your minimum KPI requirements, keep handling objections till all these practices become part & parcel of your life. Remember, slowly but surely is an ultimate success.
DARE TO BE DIFFERENT
Entrepreneurs are usually the people who go down a different route than the masses, taking a road, which is less travel by other people without looking back. People who take this less travel road than other people will usually able to succeed in their life & career. Get out of the norm today!
PRACTICE 40 PLUS FORMULA
Work 40 hours for survival. Everything more than 40 hours is for success. Every hour above 40 hours is an investment in your future. Average self made millionaires around the world usually work 59 hours in a week. Start early, work efficiently & enjoy your social life during weekend!
DEDICATE TO LIFELONG LEARNING
First- Get up & read in your field for 30 mins each day. Reading is the mine as exercise is to the body. You will become the one of the smartest, most competent & highest paid people in your profession by simply reading 30 mins each day.
Second- Listen to audio programs. Average sales professional drive about 25,000 miles p/annum. This means, allowing for traffic, salesperson sits behind the wheels about 1000 hours per year= 6 months of 40 hours p/week. Turn your car to learning machine.
Third- Attend as many seminar previews/ courses that you can possibly find to help you to be better in your industry. All these 3 combinations will save you hundred of thousand dollars in your life & to become a champion in today’s competitive industry.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Difference


愚笨的女人盯着男人的缺点,老是生气;
聪明的女人欣赏男人的优点,很是开心。

愚笨的女人不分场合与男人争吵,弄得男人很没面子;
聪明的女人在外人面前给足男人面子,私下再对男人严加管教。

愚笨的女人贬低男人——她忘了:贬低男人就是贬低自己;
聪明的女人赞赏男人——她明白:赞赏男人才是炫耀自己。


愚笨的女人不停地唠叨那些陈年旧事;
聪明的女人与男人一起憧憬美好未来。


愚笨的女人抓住男人的过错不放,以为自己看透了男人的本质;
聪明的女人原谅男人,把男人比作永远长不大的孩子。


愚笨的女人会说“你给我滚!”;
聪明的女人会说“不许离开我!”


愚笨的女人把男人当弹弓,拉得越紧,飞得越远;
聪明的女人把男人当风筝,悠然地牵着手中的线。


愚笨的女人过于强调自我;
聪明的女人善于寄托和依靠。


愚笨的女人对男人寸步不离;
聪明的女人和男人若即若离。


愚笨的女人知道洗衣做饭,但不愿再梳妆打扮;
聪明的女人也知道洗衣做饭,但不忘扮靓自己。


愚笨的女人带给男人压抑和压力;
聪明的女人带给男人激情和动力。


愚笨的女人使男人在她的泪水中失败;
聪明的女人使男人在她的笑容中成功。


愚笨的女人打击男人;
聪明的女人激励男人。


What are you?

Friday, November 2, 2012

Skyfall

Again, she failed as wife. I was home early last night, asked her to go for the new Bond 007 movie, Skyfall. She said she was tired. Fine!

As a wife, I expect more from her. I'm having athlete foot for the past few months, she only know how to complain that my foot stinks but what had she done? Did she take the effort to bring me see doctor or as simple as buy some foot deodorant for me? No! Last week I went to the pharmacy myself to get some medication for my foot and the pharmacies gave me some soluble for me to soak my foot in lukewarm water. As a wife, I expect her to at least get ready the water for me to soak my foot while I shower. She didnt, just lie down on the bed surfing facebook with her mobile!

After shower, I've asked her again if she would like to join me for the new Bond 007 movie as I'm pretty excited, its the 1st night of screening! She complied unwillingly, changed her clothes and walk out of the house straight to the lift without waiting for me. What is this? I'm trying to have a good time with her as I realized that we dont spend time together as often. I'm trying to have some good time with her but she just ruined everything! I cant bare with all this any longer. It was 1130 when we reach and the next available show was at 1200am, she said its too late and she wanna go home and sleep! WTF?! She just failed and failed! I'm here spending time with her and she just spoil everything. She used to complain that I dont spend enough time with her and the family, asked me how many hours I spend with her in a week etc. Come on.. Go fuck yourself!

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Love Is 2-Way, Not 1-Way, Else Its No-Way

I am unhappy with the facts that she is less invested in our marriage and I am not her top priority. I still remember clearly on our recent anniversary and birthdays, I take the effort to plan on how we should celebrate it, where we should go for some good time, just the two of us but she rather go to work. If I can take a day off on this special occasions, I dont see a reason why she cant. We've been together in this relationship for the past 7 years, we came a long way, we celebrated 7 birthdays, 6 Christmas, 6 Valentines, 6 anniversaries. I remembered each and every of them clearly and I never failed to get something for her. How about her? How many present do I received from her in this 7 years? Is this love? Ironically, on the other hand, she remembered Mother's Day, Father's Day, her mother's birthday, her father's birthday clearly and its a must for her to get something for them. I cant accept a wife that prioritize her maiden family over her husband! Is this love?

I am unhappy with the facts that our life after marriage was misconstrued beliefs and unrealistic vs my expectation. I dont feel home. Its practically just a shelter for showers and some rest rather than home. I had a terrible childhood, my parents are so busy finding money that they failed to provide me the love of a home. I dont want this anymore! I wish that there will be days that I will wait impatiently for the clock to struck 10pm and I would rush home because I know there will be someone waiting for me at the door, greet me with hugs and kissses, make me some supper even if I'm full, have some casual chat, ask me how was my day etc. But no, I feel so lonely. Every time I reach home with the hope that she is still awake, turns into disappointment. No one greet me at the door other than my maid. Even as a maid, she has the courtesy to ask me "have you taken your dinner, there is soup in the kitchen" without fail. Where's my wife? No doubt she might be tired or need to wakes up early next day but cant she at least open her eyes and give me a good night kiss? At times, I really miss her and right after my shower, I get into the bed cuddling up next to her, hugging her and put my arms over her but she doesnt like it at all, she feels that I am disturbing her sleep and even asked me to sleep further as she need more space. Is this love?

I am unhappy with the facts that we are lack of communication, inability to constructive share concerns, emotion, thoughts, ideas or plain chat with each other. Each and every single joke, humors I cracked for her seems to be lame. It had been awhile since I last make her laugh. I always want to have some time to our own, cuddling up on the bed or sofa, listening to some slow music and share some thoughts, view of our future, our directions etc but she was never such a person. I am really in dilemma, this is not what I want. How long has it been since we talked to each other, hanging over the phone or even fighting? I cant remember when is the last time I really sit down and talk to her. If there's something that she need to tell me, sms or facebook would be our medium. Is this love?

I am unhappy with the facts that we are sexual incompatibility, lack of frequency, desire, comfort and satisfaction. I always have high sex drive but our sexual encounter had changed from "making love" to "having sex". There is no feeling involved. No kissing, no foreplay and at times we dont even strip to barenaked, its practically just get down to business. And why does it always have to be my initiative? Doesnt she has any sex appeal and desire? She just do it simply for my pleasure, my physical satisfaction, basically there are just motions without emotions. And for the record, our sexual encounter was as low as once a month and she can just live with it just fine. Is this love?

Feelings Are A Feedback Mechanism


Just 1 year 9 months since we tied the knot on 9th Jan 2011 and I am not feeling right about this marriage. I am feeling unsure as to what I should do about my feelings of dissatisfaction about this marriage. Our feelings are a feedback mechanism to us about whether we're on track, whether we're on course or off course, the latter seems in favor.

The voices; internal and external - are loud, persistent and conflicting. "Leave her. She's not right for you!", "Are you crazy? She's such a great mother to Velfred.. how could you think about destroying his future?!"

I am at a crossroads, trying to decide what to do, working hard at make sense in my own head about what I want. It's been a pretty good relationship with highs and lows; intervals of stress and strain intermixed with moments of bliss. I've been in other relationship too so I'm not naive about the challenges that pop up with any person. I know love takes effort.

Yet, there's a nagging feeling of dissatisfaction that wont's go away. I've tried to stand back and assess exactly what isn't right in this marriage. My decision isn't as straightforward as it might be if she was an abuser of some kind, but she is really a good person. I'm just not happy in this marriage and who I'm when I am with her. I feel stuck, wondering where I go from here. I'm just not sure if this marriage is right for me.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Don't Be Serious, Be Sincere


Don't just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I used the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationship, mental peace are all in good order. There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a luxury car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.

Life is one of those races in nursery school where you have to run with a marble in the spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same is with life where health and relationship are the marbles. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.

One thing about nurturing the spark; don't take life seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a prepaid card with a limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is only 2500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up?

Its ok, bunk a few classes, scoring low in few papers, goof up a few interviews, take leave from work, enjoy with your friends and family, fall in love, little fight with your loved ones. We are people, not programmed device.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Value Of Life

Imagine life as a game in which you are jugging some five balls in the air. They are Work, Family, Health, Friend and Spirit and you’re keeping all of these on the air.

You will soon understand that Work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back but the other four balls; - Family, Health, Friend and Spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for it.

Work efficiently during office hours and leave on time. Give the required time to your family, friends & have a proper rest. Value had a value only if its value is valued.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

I Dont Care What Others Think About Me

"What other people think about me is none of my business";- Early in my life, and even in recent times, I had strive to be liked, to not upset people, to keep the peace, but I found all I managed to do was put myself in a twist trying to please everyone especially my parents/family in all things.

When I was first told this quote, “What Other People Think of You Is None Of Your Business”, it was one of those 'light-bulb' moments. You know the one when it all seems so clear and simple. I realized in an instant that what people think about me, truly isn’t about me. It is about them, themselves and not me. Their thoughts are not my business, it is theirs. I had been striving for the impossible. To always be thought of in the “right way” by other people. Yes, it is “nice” to be highly thought of by others but it is far more beneficial, and far more achievable to be highly thought of by myself.

When you try so hard to please others, do you felt deep resentment in doing so? It is impossible to make everyone happy with the choices we make in life. If you worry about getting everyone’s approval, you’d never get anywhere. If you let what others think of you become your business, it will consume all of your time and energy, draining you of the ability to move on in your life.

Don’t get me wrong; I don’t mean to be completely ignorant of others feelings or being arrogant. I cannot change their mind by constantly worrying and stressing about what they think of me. What I can do, is to be the person I am truly meant to be and feel comfortable with that. More than comfortable though, be the person that I want to be as I only live once.

I have done a lot of soul searching in recent years and have finally learned to accept and love the person I am without having to put on any fronts. I no longer live my life based on what others might think of me, whether it be negative or positive. We all like to hear those positive thoughts from others, but remember that whatever the thoughts from others are, it is none of our business. The words from others are useless unless we believe them to be true in our own hearts.

You Only Live Once But If You Live It Right, Once Is Enough!